Breakdown
by TheModernSherlock
Summary: It was the first time I had ever heard Sherlock scream. It was the scariest thing I had ever heard.


221B Bakers Street.

I stood there for awhile and looked at my front door. I was a bit annoyed that I was standing back at my door so soon.

My date with Sarah had been going extremely well, except for the fact that Mrs Hudson had told me to come home at once because of an 'emergency'.

This better not be a 'Sherlock's too lazy to get milk emergency' or else I'll cause hell to them both.

I pushed open the door and took off my coat.

"Mrs Hudson, what's the emergency?" I shouted. There was a silence before I heard a crash, which sounded a lot like a vase breaking.

"Mrs Hudson?" I shouted as I started walking up the stairs. As I walked up the stairs the crashing grew louder. What I thought was just an innocent mistake of tipping over a vase turned out to be something different. It sounded like someone was breaking things.

What if it was a robber, or worse, a murderer?

I quitely charged to the top of the stairs and reached another door, the door with all the crashing and bashing inside it.

I opened the door and it took a moment to swallow the horror of the scene.

The place was absolutely destroyed. Almost everything was smashed or ripped and I half expected to see Shelock lying dead on the floor.

But if that thought shocked me, this next one should have completely killed me.

It was Sherlock who was destroying everything.

I saw a pile of shreaded up scarves in the fireplace which caught my attention before I turned to Sherlock.

He was a total mess, I almost didn't recognize him, he was so pale, he almost looked like a zombie.

He threw the ripped up papers in his hands into the air and grabbed the skull.

"Sherlock what the hell are you doing!" I shouted, but it was too late, he had thrown the skull into the light above us and they had both shattered.

My instincts kicked in and I ducked behind what was left of the sofa.

It went quiet.

I didn't move. He didn't either.

He must have been shocked that I had walked in.

"John." His voice called. His deep voice was usually rich however it sounded beaten and vulnerable which was very alien to me. "What are you doing here?"

I stood up. I saw glass had cut him from the light which made me feel terrible.

"What am I doing here? I live here! I think the real question is what the hell are you doing!"

He looked at the floor and mumbled something.

"What?"

"Get out!" He screamed at me.

It was the first time I had ever heard him scream.

It was the scariest thing I had ever heard.

"Get out!" He screamed again before sinking to the floor.

"Go away." He whispered as he hid his face behind his hands.

I started walking towards him but he threw a dictionary at my head.

"Look up go away!" He exclaimed.

If it was any other situation and if my head didn't hurt like hell from that I might have laughed.

"Sherlock-

Just then something on the floor caught my eyes and I almost choked on my sentence.

"Have you been taking drugs?"

He looked up at me, I could tell he had been crying.

"So? It wouldn't have been the first time-

"Sherlock!"

I was shocked. Too shocked. No way. Sherlock was a great man.

But not a good one.

Not yet.

He pulled out a packet of cigarettes and I ran over and snatched the lighter out of his ripped coat.

"John, give me my lighter."

"No."

"John!"

"No! You're killing yourself!"

"So what?" He cut in. "There's nothing worth living for, give me one reason I shouldn't dropped dead right now?"

I froze. What kind of a question was that?

"Because-

"Because?" He cut in again.

"You save lives and-

"Just shut up, whenever you speak I feel like punching you."

That was like an emotion smack in the stomach, I was trying to help him so much but everytime I tried he'd push me back even further.

"You can't die-

"John-

"Because of me!" I shouted. He raised an eyebrow.

"If you died, then I'd die too."

He frowned, and at that very moment he looked like an animal in front of headlights. He looked scared. Very scared.

"No you wouldn't," He said as his eyes scanned me. "If I died you would settle down and get married, in fact you'd live a healthly life, a safe life."

He paused and looked me in the eyes. His eyes were so red.

"In fact, you're a reason I should die-

"Stop it!" I shouted at him, after all this time I finally lost it."I don't want that life, a safe life, you and I both know that!"

"What do you want then?"

"I want you!"

I paused. The words I had just said did not come out how I planned them too.

"I mean a life full of adventure, a life worth something, a life with you."

He laughed, it was like a tiny flash of hope.

"Lucky Sarah didn't hear that, she might get jealous."

I went red. "You know what I meant!"

He pulled his knees to his chest.

"Thank you John." He said.

"For what?"

"For everything." He said as he hid a tear."I want a life with you too."

I smiled and he covered his face.

"Can you please leave now, you're making me feel like an idiot." He said with a laugh.

"Oh right sorry." I walked over to the door and stopped.

"If there's anything you want to talk about-

"John, go and enjoy Sarah's company."

"Ok," I said as I opened the door and stood outside it. "Love you in a friendly way," I shouted back as I shut the door.

Sherlock listened to the sound of John's footsteps as he left the flat and called for a cab. Only when he heard the cab sail away did he whisper his reply.

_"Love you too."_

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_A/N: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, if enough people like it I might make it into a chapter story, or maybe make a prequel._

_You can take this story in which ever way you want, it could be friendship or love, whatever rocks your boat :)_

_~TheModernSherlock 3_

_Oh by the way if you see any mistakes feel free to tell me._


End file.
